I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
