Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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