i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
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all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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