she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize