how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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