The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
