i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
