I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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