hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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