There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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