That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
im calling her cock vulture from now on
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
