I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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