As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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