she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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