omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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