so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
