Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
