why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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