I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
