So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
