real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
