Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
