yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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