so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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