i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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