the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
