her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize