Yo dont text me then not text me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
