You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
