the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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