I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
