when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
