No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
