Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
