Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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