I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cannot find my penis.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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