bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize