And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
