a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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