You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
