Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
