remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
