We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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