Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she smelled like a LAN party
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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