neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
