I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
