My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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