Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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