either way he was missing a nipple.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
