can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
