Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
