if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
